Well, No job again, my 4th meeting with the Chief of Police and I'm still nowhere! I'm so freakin' frusterated! They said that while someone had just quit, there were people in line ahead of me who were getting the position. I was like no freakin' way! I've been applying for about 2 years... no way these people had their applications in first! But oh well, I can't make too big of a fuss b/c I need my job badly and I can't afford to be fired! So I guess I will just hang in there until I graduate the police academy and another police department picks me up. However, due to a recent tax cut all the agencies in the county have started a hiring freeze, but with 7 months to go I think it should lift by the time I graduate. After all, we always need cops! :)

BB,

Tori

PS- everyone wish me luck and say a little something for me and a job please!!!

Well,

    I guess I was being paranoid because I was finally offered a chief's interview for the police officer position at work! YEAH! Now that still doesn' t mean I got the job, but it means I'm really, really close to getting the job. There is only one more step, the medical test, before I can get the job after my interview. I was sooo excited! Oh and BTW the whole IA thing worked out great and no on emade a fuss. The chief only wanted to ask one question about how fast I moved my vehicle... Anyway, so we'll see. I guess I just had to start the action be going to the police academy on my own and the energy just kept moving forward! WOW! Sometimes I am amazed at how just putting your mind to something and getting that first action started snowballs! Thank the God/dess!!!! I Will keep y'all informed! (If anyone even reads these things I write! LOL!)

Brightest Blessings,

Tori

PS- we finally got the money to reverse my husband's vasectomy and we are planning on kids after this year!!! (I have to finish the police academy and my FTO- training.) WOW is scary how good things are going!

Lately I have been feeling like someone is out to get me at work. Today I had an epiphany though! I'm being paranoid- I just can't figure out why. Work has been hounding me about a lot of stupid things and now the chief of police has reopened an IA investiagation that was supposed to be an "unfounded accusastion" according the the investigator. However the chief apparentyl feels different. I am just so sick of looking over my should at work b/c everyone is such a backstabber. I became a cop to help people, not get shit on by the community and my co-workers and boss! HELLO!!!!! So anyway, now I have this big meeting in the chiefs office and I'm considering filing a lawsuit for the whole hiring thing they put me through and also b/c now it seems they are trying to get rid of me since I am in the process of starting up a union! So anyway, I've been feeling really paranoid about work like they are trying to fire me or get me to quit... so I guess I'll know tomorrow for sure or not. I spoke with a LT about it and he said not to worry about it that this was common with our current chief... so who knows maybe I am just being paranoid like the lady I dealt with yesterday on a call. Maybe that's why I'm so much more calm about this whole thing today- maybe that was  the reason I got sent that crazy lady- my message. She said her neighbor was part of the mob and was paying people to try and kill her by running her off the road and kick her out of her house. She was conviced this guy tried to kill her by hitting her car (he was at fault!) Anyway, I guess I just learn more and more everyday to be patient and see where things lead- there is no use in getting upset over spilt milk right? Maybe that's the lesson I'm supposed to learn in this life- but who really knows???

 Blessed Be,

Tori

PS- hope this blog makes a little sense to y'all-I'm a little scattered in my thoughts right now since I've got trouble at work and with the X and step daughter....

     Well it is finally here! The orientation day for the police academy! Tomorrow I am an official cadet! I have waited so long for this dream to begin and now here I am on the horizon of it watching it unfold. Now all I have to do is buckle down and get through the 6 months of books, physical exercise (*read: torment), firing range, high speed driving, etc. Then I can go out and get my dream job! YEAH! And however said you can't put a price on your derams LIED! The price of my dream is about $4000.00! :0 But considering I've wanted this since I was 5 years old I guess I've had enough time to save- LOL! Anyway, the agency I work for still isn't offering me a position as a fully sworn officer- they say they are holding applications until January 1st (* read: they want me to pay for it, not them). But I have applications out in multiple agencies and I can't complain because the rest of my life os amazing. I just found a co-worker who's wife is friend with a neighboring sherrif, so maybe i'll get a job elsewhere after all. (Besides, if I put myself through I am not tied to Delray Police for 3 years to pay back the academy "loan" from them so I can go wherever I want.) That's good, so I'm trying to be optimistic and have a positive attitude. (That's a major feat for someone who works with society's worst day in and day out.)

    Other than that all else is great. My husband is amazing, my mother is finally accepting that she can't change my faith (she's still struggling against it a bit though), my sister is doing wonderfully in school and my step daughter is warming up to me because her mother stopped acting like I ended the world when I married her ex husband!) I even did a few readings on this b/c the X has tried this before to lure my husband back (yeah right!) But the cards say she is probably sincere as she is experiencing a great shift in her perspectives and dreams... So let's hope!

Brightest Blessings and a Merry Yuletide Y'all!

Tori

Well work was better for awhile, until I was told that they didn't want to hire me as a sworn officer because I wasn't feminine enough. Then I started to make a fuss and I threatened a sexual harassment lawsuit. So, they started me back through the hiring process. However, they are moving at snail pace and are trying to fill up the one and only spot before I get through the process. On top of that they are slapping on all these disciplinary investigations (stupid stuff too- like missing court, not shutting off my cop car, etc) trying to get me to give up on the process and the lawsuit... but all it is doing is pissing me off some more! So I keep fighting all these stupid investigations but I am so sick of fighting for everything! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't do the job!!!!! I have been luck that my husband has been so supportive! I'm ready to quit, but since that's what they want so I will keep working until I graduate the night time police academy and get a job with another agency. Wish me luck!

 Tori